also, can we set this “if you think you’re fat, what must you think about me?” thing to rest? i realize that it’s a natural response, and i don’t blame anyone for feeling insulted when thinner people insult their own bodies, but when it comes to body image and weight people usually hold themselves…
Yes, also as a person with BDD issues, and an ex anorexic, who thinks fat/chubby women are really cute. What I find attractive and how I want to look are very different things.
When I have issues with body image it’s less that I dislike the body, and more that I fear society will punish me for something I don’t actually have a lot of control over.
Like I make a lot of choices that are actively and aggressively opposed to social ideals of what a woman should look like. Because with those I can say “Fuck you, I did this on purpose” whereas something I can’t control hurts a lot more, because even if I say “fuck you” people hear “sour grapes”
I think fat women and especially confident fat women are extra beautiful because what they are doing (merely by occupying societal space) is against the grain and they’re much much braver than I am with my “I could fit your beauty standards, but I choose not to” defense.
Like a fat chick who’s bold and stylish and not hiding has a rebellious vibe, and while shit like “it’s so brave of you to wear that” is condescending and shitty, those women are brave (and they look bangin) because people are shitty and not giving a fuck or at least acting like you don’t give a fuck and going out and taking up space and loving yourself and looking amazing is brave,
When my BDD issues rear up most of all what I feel is cowardly.
^^So much YES to this. I find a pretty wide variety of body sizes and shapes aesthetically and sexually appealing. When I struggle with body image shit I hate my body because it’s mine (and I hate myself), because I can’t control it and because it feels like having a very specific body shape is the only way for me to get power or love or value. I can even feel too fat and too skinny at the same time. When I’m in that headspace I’m much more likely to think “I wish I looked like her” than “I hope I never get that fat”. And totally agree on the confident stylish fat girls thing - when someone is already so attractive visually, it really takes it to the next level when they are also a total bad ass.